How Do Narcissists Spy On You? Why They Do It?

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Narcissism is a personality disorder in which the person suffering from it really craves attention and control. They do sneaky stuff like spying on others to feel powerful. This article spills the beans on how Narcissists spy on you. And why they do it.

By understanding their tricks it is easy to protect yourself from illegal monitoring. So let’s dive into this article and find out why narcissists spy on you and how you can protect yourself from them.

Table Of Contents

Quick Summary
Narcissists spy on you to control you, make themselves feel better than you, and sometimes punish you. They use sneaky stuff to check on you like using spy software, hidden cameras, and following you around to keep tabs on you. To stay safe from them, just be careful about what you share online, check your devices for spying tools, make sure your gadgets are secure, and keep your personal space safe.

Why Narcissist Spy On You?

why Narcissist Spy On You

There are many reasons why narcissists check up on you. In my opinion, the following are the top 5 reasons why narcissists may spy on you:

They Want To Control You:

Narcissists really want control over everything, even your life. By spying on their exes or spouses they can get their personal info that they can use to control what you do, and who you talk to, and influence your choices.

They Constantly Seek Validation:

Narcissists need constant praise to feel good about themselves. Spying on you gives them details about what you do and think, which they use to boost their own ego.

Superiority Complex:

Narcissists want to feel more important than others. Spying on you helps them find your weaknesses and use them to make themselves look better than you.

Projective Identification:

Narcissists often put their own issues onto others. By spying on you, they convince themselves that you have the same problems as them. Making them feel better about themselves.


Narcissists like to create problems by making people fight. Spying on you helps them get details to keep these fights going and stay in control of them.

How Do Narcissists Spy On You?

How Do Narcissist Spy On You

Now you get an idea why narcissists spy on you, let’s see how they do it.

Through Social Engineering

Narcissists may use social engineering techniques to engage in seemingly innocent conversations where they ask probing questions about your daily activities, friends, and family. The purpose of these talks is to gather personal information about you without you knowing about it, which they might later use to manipulate or control you.

Using Your Friends And Family As Spies

Narcissists may extend their influence by convincing or blackmailing your own friends and family to spy on you. This involves gathering information about your life and reporting it back to the narcissist, allowing them to maintain a level of control and manipulation.

Monitoring Your Social Media Profiles

Narcissists can also keep an eye on your social media accounts to track your posts, interactions, and connections. This constant monitoring provides them with insights into your personal life, relationships, and activities. This enables them to exploit vulnerabilities or maintain a sense of superiority.

Going Through Your Belongings

Narcissists may invade your privacy by rummaging through personal items such as your phone, computer, mail, or wallet. This intrusive behavior is aimed at uncovering details about your life, including activities, relationships, and family matters.

Installing Spyware On Your Devices

Some narcissists may resort to installing spyware on your devices without your knowledge. This malicious software can remotely track your online activities, location, and communications, providing the narcissist with a continuous stream of information about your personal and professional life.

Using Hidden Cameras and Eavesdropping Devices

In more extreme cases, narcissists may resort to physical monitoring techniques such as hiding spy cameras in your car and home. They may also tap into your phone conversations to listen in on your private discussions. This invasive tactic gives them direct access to your personal interactions and information.

Stalking You

Narcissists may engage in stalking behavior, either in person or online. This involves following you physically or tracking your online presence to monitor your whereabouts and activities. Stalking is a way for them to exert control and maintain a sense of superiority by constantly being aware of their actions.

How To Prevent Narcissists From Spying On You?

Seek Professional Help:

If you believe you are a victim of narcissistic spying or manipulation, consider seeking professional assistance from therapists, counselors, or support groups specializing in dealing with abusive relationships.

Be Mindful of What You Share Online:

Exercise caution in sharing personal details, especially on social media. Limit the information you post online, and regularly review your privacy settings to control who can access your content.

Check for Spyware:

Regularly scan your devices for spyware and malware. Install reputable security software like Avast or Malwarebytes to help detect and remove any unauthorized monitoring tools.

Secure Your Devices:

Use strong and unique passwords for your devices and online accounts. Enable two-factor authentication whenever possible. Also, you must regularly update your device’s software and security features.

Secure Your Physical Space:

Keep personal items like your phone, computer, and documents in a secure location. Also, be aware of your surroundings to prevent physical access to your belongings.

How Does A Narcissist Stalk You? Final Verdict

Narcissists spy on you because they want to control you, feel superior to you, and punish you. They may use techniques like social engineering, spyware, hidden cameras, and stalking to spy on you. To protect yourself from narcissists, be mindful of what you share online, check for spyware, secure your devices, and secure your physical space. If you think you may be a victim of narcissistic spying then don’t hesitate to seek professional help.


How Do Narcissists Spy?

Narcissists may use covert tactics like using monitoring software or devices, hacking, or manipulation to invade your privacy.

Can I Notice If Narcissist Is Spying?

Watch for signs like sudden knowledge of private details, unexplained confrontations, or a loss of personal space.

What To Do If Narcissist Spies?

You need to safeguard your devices, change passwords, seek professional help, and set boundaries to protect yourself from narcissistic intrusion.

About the Author

Ankit Prasad, an engineer driven by a passion for digital safety, founded SpyDrill to simplify cybersecurity. With a modest approach, Ankit shares insights on parental control and monitoring apps and effective protection measures. His aim is to empower users with practical knowledge, bridging the gap between technology and everyday understanding. An advocate for digital literacy, Ankit's commitment to demystifying cyber threats underscores his dedication to creating a safer online environment for all.

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